Let’s talk about sex

“Let’s talk about sex, baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let’s talk about sex
Let’s talk about sex”


“let’s talk about sex” by Salt ‘n’ Pepa, 1991

Don’t you just love that song?  Catchy isn’t it?  Well I don’t like it.  It’s distasteful and it doesn’t make any sense.  Maybe you haven’t heard it, in  that case—you have missed much.  I guess  it’s a tad catchy but I won’t push it.

Earlier this week the local paper, The Straits Times, ran an article that submitted that many youths these days do not use contraception when having sex.  The attention getter postulated that “over 40% (aged) between 15 and 24 years old didn’t use
contraception with new partner: Poll”.  Now I don’t find that statement startling one bit, do you?  Given the age group I am going to work on the premise that these findings are of premarital sex and I don’t think you will disagree with that.

The survey was conducted on over 6000 youths over 26 different countries (which include the likes of Australia, Egypt, Indonesia and Singapore, just to name a few) in line with World Contraception Day, which was on Sunday, 25th September.  Now
it’s not stated but I am going to assume that most of the sexual encounters
subscribed in the poll are with friends (primarily girlfriends or boyfriends) and not
with hookers because as far as I am concerned, only dimwits forgo the usage of contraception when visiting the whore house (May I have a prostitute vouch for this please?).

While I am not surprised by the tall figure in the poll, I do see it as a potential societal and health problem.  To then tackle the problem one has to
identify the roots.  Some people attribute the sexual liberalness to a change in times and I believe that is about right.  In reference to Knapp’s
relationship development model which illustrates the stages in which a couple
comes together and later drifts apart, it has become glaringly obvious that the
act of sexual intercourse has moved earlier up the “coming together” phase than
it was before.

Knapps-Relational-Development-Model

A quick poll of anyone’s parents and it’s quite safe to say
that consummation, for people born in the 1960s or earlier, only occurred after
the bonding stage, at which, marriage may or may not have taken place,
depending on the circumstances.  However it would seem now that this is no longer the case.  I may go so far as to say that, the first stage, the initiating stage, where partners work to create a favorable initial impression, may already set the tone and mood for a sexual encounter with the other party.  Take for example Uncle Barney at the bar, true story.

Premarital sex now, is not a product of love (was it ever?—perhaps
it was but I don’t know but the new movie Friends with Benefits seem to suggest otherwise), but a mean to quench one’s sexual desires.  This notion is seconded by a write up on the Washingtonpost which asserted that young people don’t use condoms because they think it will make sex less pleasurable.

Having said that, I would find the solution as proposed in the article a futile, idealistic attempt to rectify one of the fastest growing societal problems.   The extract read, “countries need to focus more on sex education in schools.”  I’m pretty sure youths of today are aware of the availability and “benefits” of contraception, the problem lies in the lack of control over ones sexual desires.

<I inserted a very colorful picture of two people having
sex but WordPress removed it, therefore, insert imagination.>

So while some countries advocate the proliferation of contraceptive
material and others propose the greater raising of awareness of contraception and
proper usage, I suggest the education of controlling ones sexual wants instead—aka
abstinence.  Now I know some of you might think that as crazy talk, but if you do disagree, save your unhappy words and sex off!

References:

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/checkup/2008/09/why_teens_dont_use_condoms.html

Pictures:

http://www.adamroslan.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Knapps-Relational-Development-Model.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Friends_with_benefits_poster.jpg

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14 thoughts on “Let’s talk about sex

  1. Does WordPress support .gif files? If it did I would insert a hogwarts-students-clapping-like-there-is-no-tomorrow.gif in here!(Just imagine the last scene where Gryffindor is crowned House Champion and they all break out into cheer and clapping!)

    Great post. I totally agree with the whole abstinence idea.

    I feel that the way the media portrays sexual relationships greatly influences one’s perceptions. I mean just look at Gossip Girls, 90210, Sex and The City, HIMYM, Skins… the list goes on! People need to realize what is reel-life and real-life -_-

  2. I agree with what Shalini said. The media has made it hard for teenagers to distinguish what the “traditional” course of a relationship is anymore. I’m not a prude but even the prudish would agree that one should be protected while engaging in pre-marital sex.

    The extract read, “countries need to focus more on sex education in schools.” I’m pretty sure youths of today are aware of the availability and “benefits” of contraception, the problem lies in the lack of control over one’s sexual desires.

    I used to think that the best sex education is abstinence but really, it’s a moot point. Teenagers with hormones being asked to practice abstinence is giving liquor to an alcoholic and asking him not to drink. While some would say that teaching teenagers to practice safe sex is akin to telling them that it’s okay to have sex, I think it’s better than them getting STDs or pregnant…

    • It comes down to picking the lesser evil isnt it? But just a thought, if there were no contraception at all and STDs were allowed to run rampant amongst the fornicating folk, would we still be as frivolous as before? I would think no. But not before lots of pain and anguish imo… i hope this doesnt depict me as a heartless bastard 😛

      • Oh but you are! 😀

        Thing is Reubs, you cant implement something like that– the ban on contraception that is, you going to Africanize Singapore. Modern societies like ours need to give her people a choice; wear it or risk it.

  3. Good write up, sex will happen whether we like it or not, it’s just a matter of when. The best way is indeed to guide them.

    • Hahaha i like how you put it, “sex will happen whether we like it or not”, make it sound like such an awful thing! I hear you regarding the “guiding them” part, i suppose the onus is on the parents for this one. But then again, sometimes promiscuity runs in the family.

  4. Sometimes do you think ignorant towards sex would be better? Maybe the many sex education that is going on make children this generation more curious about how all these go about and decided to try it out? i mean nowadays kids are very educated. The exposed of media made is accessible for many people which has its pros and cons, i supposed:)

  5. haha nice one reubs. i love the insert imagination bit. anywayyyyy back to the topic! i agree with you how the best way to deal with this problem is: to have these sex maniac youths curb their sexual desires AND WAIT TILL YOU ARE MARRIED BEFORE YOU START SEXING IT UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. otherwise, please. use a condom at the very least so you don’t start spreading sexual diseases.

    • That’s the way Zaffy! hahah.. but in anycase, the latter is best used as a last resort because even then, contraceptions are not unfailing. Though the odds are small, STDs still spread despite the use of contraception sometimes.

  6. Nice alternative views presented Reuben!
    I’d like to say that in asian countries, abstinence is more widely practiced, and sex is kept until marriage. This however leads to problems where sex among married couples is seen as a way of professing their love, there are higher instances where married couples just stop having sex as they have never learned to appreciate and indulge and please their partner (which most learn during growing up stages).
    This is certainly a grey area and there is no right and wrong only personal beliefs. The common theme in western movies/shows where sex should be sought out to satisfy one’s desires is being widely shown and this is in a way influencing teens’ values today.

    • haha a proponent of experimental sex are we here? Well points like this have been raised in the past no doubt and a agreeable conclusion to the debate can never be reached due to the varying principles and schools of thought.

      Final thought though, abstinence is ideal (morally and in a pratical sense, due to STDs), but in the absence of which, IFa good enough reason is found, PERHAPS sex with protection is the compromise. lol, my compromise 😛

      • At the end of the day, i think people should be responsible for their behavior and accountable for their antics. If they wish to act frivolously then so be it. However, they should take into account the 3rd party impacts and effects. If people do so consciously then many will come to realize abstinence as the ideal contraception for anything and everything negatively sex-related.

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